Insulin Shot- The First

Giving yourself a shot of insulin is NOT THAT BAD... However, I will recount last night's events for your reading pleasure.

Yesterday was VERY long day. I left work at 12:45 for my appointment and did not get home until nearly 8pm (dr's visits, picking up Damon and then waiting on my new prescriptions). So by bedtime (at 10) I was physically and emotionally exhausted. So it would make sense that when it was time to give myself an injection, I was already in a state of dis-ease.

I got out the needle (31 gauge, short needle) and the wee bottle of insulin, swiped myself down with alcohol and then proceeded to fill the needle with my 5 units. I got this far without flinching.

I then grabbed a hold of my tummy and brought the needle up, ready to stick. Then, I lost it. I put the top back on the needle and cried hysterically. I am sure Damon was completely traumatized. (Though he did offer to help, I decided to do this on my own. He was in the other room attempting to hold himself together because the sight of needles makes him sick, and the thought of me giving myself injections made him feel HORRIBLE...)

Ten minutes were spent crying, wailing, gnashing of teeth- interspersed with moments of self-talk and cheer leading which eventually lead me back to the mirror to try again, which then resulted in another melt down.

As a side note- let me say I should NOT be afraid of needles. I have had tattoos and piercings... Those you do for fun. Giving yourself an insulin shot is NECESSARY. So if I am truly honest with myself, I should be able to do this. Yes, it is scary to think about- and it looks scary, but dammit I am a grown woman. I can give myself a damned shot.

After I had cried to the point I could not cry anymore, I walked up to the mirror, grabbed a hold of my belly, and held my breath. I made up my mind to do it, and I just put the needle in, pressed the little plunger and counted to 10 (like they showed me at the diabetic center). No blood, VERY little pain.

Emotionally I was still feeling some shock and stress. Physically there was no pain. I felt a little dazed- so I went to bed. Damon came up to tuck me in, made sure I was ok and told me he was proud of me.

You know what? I am proud of myself too.