Going to take a quick detour on the whole kid stories and the like...
Today I went to a funeral. And that funeral revealed nothing about the person who had passed, but rather the family she had left behind. It was infuriating.
Granted, I understand that funerals are often more about the people mourning than the people who died- but this was a Wiccan woman who was openly celebrated who she was and what she believed. So to be subjected to VERY traditional Christian music, a sermon- including a "come to Jesus" portion was incredibly offensive to me. The minister who had known Val since he was six, had no idea she was a belly dancer. Anyone who knew Valerie, knew that belly dancing and music were her life.
ANYWAYS- I realize this is in no way legally binding, but I am going to write some of my wishes for passing here.
#1 I want to be cremated and I don't want people standing around looking at my dead body. Look at beautiful pictures of me with my family, friends, and especially my husband and children. Remember me that way, not as a mass of embalmed flesh.
#2 I do not want a traditional ceremony, and I don't really want a party either. Though I would like a gathering of some type, I think we all need closure somehow. And (stealing an idea from my mother here) I want people to tell stories, listen to my favorite music, and eat my favorite foods. (Maybe light on the Muppets though, I don't want people sobbing every time they hear Rainbow Connection- though it is truly one of my very favorite songs)
#3 No sermon, no priestly officiant. Some order is fine, and if possible I would like the following to be adapted for the occasion (spoken or written). It is from one of my favorite moments from one of the most poignant books I have ever read. The Amber Spyglass, by Phillip Pullman "... The first ghost of the land of the dead was Roger. He took a step forward, and turned back to look at Lyra, and laughed in surprise as he found himself turning into the night, the starlight, the air... and then he was gone, leaving behind such a vivid burst of happiness that Will was reminded of the bubbles in a glass of champagne..." Obviously my VERY favorite parts are in italics.
#4 If people wish to communicate some final thoughts or the like, spoken or unspoken, I ask that you blow bubbles to the wind. I kid you not. I love bubbles and one of my favorite artists Josephine Wall has a painting I love. Bubble Flower My grandmother says that I must have visited her in her dreams, the subject looks so much like me... So- Tell your secrets to the wind. That is where I will be.
And should it need to be said, and I am not sure that it will- Let Damon know that when I read this part of that same book by Phillip Pullman, I thought of us.
"...I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again...;
I'll be looking for you, ..., every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we'll cling together so tight that nothing and no one'll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you...We'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams...And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't just be able to take one, they'll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we'll be joined so tight...' "
Make sure that my children know that I am proudest of them. That they made my life worthwhile and I could not have done anything greater than given life to those two amazing, beautiful, impish faeries.
Of course, (in the most cliche' sounding way, but with total honesty) I hope that anyone I have known and loved knows how much I have loved them in return and how grateful I am for everyone who has blessed my life. I also hope that this does not have to be done for a very very very long time.
I am not so good with death. Who is, really? But today's sad excuse for a celebration of life prompted this barfing of whatever onto my screen.
So that is what is what for today.
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