Thursday, March 22, 2007

32 Weeks- That seemed fast...

How interesting that a little as 6 weeks ago, I felt like I would NEVER get here. Now we are at 32 weeks and things are really starting to move ahead.

I am now on 7 units of insulin, nightly. Did not see a great change in my sugars this morning, but I am hoping that will change over the next couple of days. Damon is now calling blood sugar monitoring "hooey" because my numbers fluctuate so wildly. Unfortunately, I do not have time to test the way every food affects me. Thus far the only pattern that has emerged is this: If I don't get enough fat at a meal, my sugars go up.

For example- if I have 2 pieces of whole grain bread with 2 eggs, cheese, and mayo for breakfast- my blood sugars are great. NOW trade out those eggs for low-fat roasted turkey, and my blood sugars sky-rocket. Plenty of protein in both meals, but for some reason- without the fat, my body cannot safely process the sugars in the bread.

It is hard not to feel like a failure. I am starting to not want to eat at all for fear that my sugars are going to be screwed up. I don't like having to eat this much protein and fat. Fat is not as much fun when it is not surrounded by carbs and sugar... Like Cream Cheese Icing on a really good Carrot Cake. Take out the carbs and you have eggs, and butter. Not my favorite dessert.

In times when I am sad and frustrated, I have commonly turned to food as a comfort. Today would be a day like that. Things are not catastrophically bad and I am really doing fine- but a little comfort in the shape, size, and taste of oatmeal cookies would be great.

Yet again, this is a learning experience. I am not as patient as I should be with myself...

Not long now though!!! And then we will have all sorts of other new things to conquer.

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