Yesterday morning, I woke up in a funk... Or perhaps I was simply continuing the funk I had been wallowing in Monday. The acid spewing, teeth gnashing funk had morphed itself into a 300 pound weight on my shoulders and stinging tears in my eyes.
I galumphed down the stairs at a slower than normal pace and pushed open the bathroom door. Damon took one look at me and said "are you ok?" Not wanting to be seen as a wuss, I looked down at the floor and told him I would be fine.
Damon got very quiet and got close to my face and said "I think you should stay home today." I told him I couldn't- The other pregnant lady was gone on Monday, and I don't have much in the way of Paid Time Off left. Any that I do have would really be helpful on those weeks where I won't be making any money... Again, he got closer to my face and very gently said "I would really like you to stay home today." And again, I retorted through the tears streaming down my face that I would be fine, and this is just a bad pregnancy day- I would survive.
He pushed past me and walked out of the bathroom, threw his belt on the floor and exclaimed "You NEVER listen to me! YOU NEED TO STAY HOME! I don't give 2 rats asses about what is happening at work today, you need to stay home and relax!"
I sat in the bathroom sobbing and feeling sorry for myself- Do I really want to fight with him over this? I did not want to go to work. I did not feel well, my blood sugars were fluctuating wildly... And though it was probably more mental than physical, I was being affected physically by exhaustion and tearfulness.
I tried to imagine what would happen if I took the day off- Would work fall apart? Would my boss be mad? I realized that nothing would be more horrible than riding to work with my VERY UPSET husband. So, I stayed home.
This morning, I feel very different. I was able to get a lot done yesterday- I cleaned, I did some yard work, I got a nap. My blood sugars were still curiously high, but I now feel more settled- like if the baby came in the next week or two, I would be ok... There is still a lot I want to do! But 10 good hours of cleaning did me good. I feel more grounded. Damon was right. I needed a day off. I thanked him for looking out for me and the baby...
In other news- I just got a call from my doctor and they upped my Lantus (insulin) from 10 units at bedtime to 13. Yikes. I wonder if it is normal for blood sugars to fluctuate this close to the "end" of pregnancy.
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