On Seperation Anxiety

I have issues.

I know that I have the tendency to want to micromanage things in my life in order to control the outcome as much as possible. I know that often when things are out of my control I have wild fits of crying or fall into depression.

Having Mina has not cured me of this, but it has forced me to go with the flow. It has been really good for me and honestly, I kind of enjoy it.

Now we are approaching the time where I have to enter the world of schedules and inflexibility. I am entering the world of deadlines, ringing phones, boss (procrastination) induced "emergencies."

Not only do I not want to enter this world again just yet, I am also dealing with the cliche of not wanting to leave my child.

Damon and I are VERY fortunate. VERY. I will be able to stay home 2 days a week with Mina, the other 3 days of care will be done by Damon and my Mother-in-Law. Many families do not have this gracious and wonderful opportunity. So I should shut my whiny mouth.


I know I am not the first mom not to want to go back to work.

However, my heart is breaking. These first 5 and a half weeks have gone by in a blink. I can't believe I have to go back to work in 2 weeks. Mina is smiling and laughing now- her personality is blossoming and I have to pass her off and miss parts of her development. Oh, it makes me ache.

I don't know how to handle it. Maybe I will get my mother in law a web cam and she webcast all of the things I miss.