Closer and closer~

Today I am 37 weeks. Full term! Things are so very different this time around from when I was carrying Mina. I seem to recall having energy "to the end." That's a big fat joke this time around. Granted, I did just scrub our family room carpet by hand- but I grunted and huffed through the whole deal. Unlike my pregnancy with Mina, the last days of this one are filled pains in my stomach and in my girl parts. Last night, the entire wall of my belly felt like it was on fire. I was in such an unusual form of discomfort that I was on the floor of the kitchen, bum in the air trying to practice my deep breathing exercises. Damon could hear me gasping and he started YELLING at me to come in and lay down on the couch (I obliged, because it is not worth arguing with him when he gets like that).

I don't know what happens when you are in the late stages of pregnancy- but something screws up in your brain and all of a sudden, you find yourself doing ludicrous things. Such as- I was feeling regular contractions on Friday and felt it was a good idea to manically clean my house (instead of taking that opportunity to rest and give the contractions a chance to stop). Or, last night as I was lying on the floor of my kitchen, with this intense abdominal wall fire burning through my body- all I wanted to do was scrub the baseboards. Ummm- if you know me, you know these are not normal impulses I have. Who looks at your baseboards anyways?

With Mina I don't remember having ANY of these contractions. I might have had some braxton hicks, but nothing like what I feel now. I seem to have just enough to make me think "maybe I need to call the doctor" and then they stop. Last night was probably the worst I remember (outside of actual labor with Mina). I took tylenol, a hot shower, even benadryl and I could not get my body to stop the painful onslaught until I had been lying in bed, perfectly still and Damon kindly gave me a nice massage to help me relax. It took me 2 hours after that to finally fall asleep.

My stress level is different this time around. I am not dealing with that horrible insurance debacle- but I am dealing with a much MUCH tighter budget than I had anticipated. I am trying not to think about it too much. It will work out and worrying about it does not help (though I do have to say how lucky I am- a group of my mamma-friends bought me roughly 600 diapers... That should last me a couple of months). Money is such a difficult thing to deal with sometimes. It is easy to get down and forget how lucky I am that my husband has a good job, we have insurance benefits, and all of our bills are paid on time.

There is one thing I am looking forward to almost as much as holding my little girl in my arms. CARBOHYDRATES. We got things clamped down a couple weeks earlier with this pregnancy than we did with Mina, so I have been avoiding carbohydrate deliciousness for what seems like forever (only 10 weeks or so). From what I have read and gleaned from my other friends who have 2 little ones, those first 4 weeks are a blur of hazy, sleep-deprived mayhem. So I plan to fill those 4 weeks with all the carbs I want to eat. Sandwiches with 2 slices of bread, chipotle vegetarian burritos , thin crust pizza from Waldo Pizza Company, BANANAS, doughnuts, muffins, rice, potatoes, chicken quesadillas from Chelle's Cafe... The list is very long, and I am sure I won't get to eat everything on it (and I imagine once I get there, I will not be as obsessed as I am now)- but a girl can dream. I think my food budget will improve as well. Carbs are a low cost, filling meal option.

This post is such a hodge-podge. I can't imagine anyone is actually going to read it to the end- but if you do- Cheers. Here is the summary:

Pregnancy 2 is very different. It hurts a bit more, I am perhaps a bit less chipper- but I am also a bit more prepared for what is ahead. I am still a bit of a control freak (who, me?) but if having a child has taught me anything, it is that the harder you try to hold on to those reigns and make things go YOUR WAY, the faster things topple off-course. So though I get irritated by things like my c-section date being pushed back, I know deep in my heart that those kind of decisions are not made lightly- and my best reaction is to go with the flow.

That is where I am right now. I am thankful for the last 9 months- I am thankful for this little person who has come to make my family complete. I am thankful that Mina was my firstborn, and that she ushered this family into existence. I can't wait to see how my girls grow and change. I can't wait for the birthday parties, holidays, trips to disney world, and the simple, perhaps mundane little occurrences that make my world go round.

Also can't wait for carbs :)