My loveliest Jovie,
Strap in baby girl, this is going to be a long one!!! I managed to miss another month and I am going to make up for it with extra long bittersweet murmurings.
This has been one of the most challenging years of my life. You are, by far the best thing that happened this year.
I have enjoyed watching you grow- though I have to say, it has happened way too damned fast. While I am thankful that you can crawl and cruise and stand on your own, I am taken aback by the brevity of these stages. I feel an overwhelming sense of happiness and heartbreak- joy and devastation. You are my last baby, my baby baby and I can feel my heart clinging to every stage a bit longer. I have a harder time letting you grow.
That is not to say that some of my over-protectiveness is not (somewhat)qualified. Your precious little lungs have had a rough first year. That LONG stint in the hospital changed our lives. And that first (LONG) hospital visit (9 days) I was able to be there and be present. I did not want to leave your side, and I didn't. I was there through every procedure and sleepless hour. I held you and rocked you and sang to you. It is yet another bittersweet memory in that it has replaced some of the painful memories of my mental breakdown shortly after your birth (HORMONES!!!!). I got the change to be there with you... Just you. You and me, and I hardly put you down and I hardly slept but I had the easy job. I just had to be there. You had to work through that nasty virus. The second stay 2 months later was much shorter but MUCH HARDER (for me... because I am crazy). I was thankful to get the hell out of there when we did.
So now, you have been diagnosed with Asthma (hopefully childhood only) and I have to hold you down and give you breathing treatments. I think you may almost be starting to look forward to them as they are 100% uninterrupted Mamma/Jovie snuggling time.
Even with all of your setbacks, you have managed to remain a precocious little elfin child. Your favorite game is to find something you should NOT put in your mouth, come within arms reach of me, SHOW ME that you are putting it in your mouth and then you make a break for it at lightning(ish) speed. You flash that impish smile and accompany it with a slightly evil twinkle in your eye. Sometimes, if you are feeling especially naughty, you will shake your head "no" simply to prove that you KNOW you should not be doing it. But what fun are rules? I am not sure myself. Ask your dad, he is the rule man.
Anyhow- YOua re speaking some words- you love HI and "here" (in fact you helped me unload the dishwasher). You call your favorite toy Dawggie- whic, I suppose is fitting, it is a cow. Get a long little dawgie... YOu canr repeat many words, but you prefer to stick to a couple favorites interspersed with much tantrum throwing... and biting.
You are my favorite bronze-haired daughter. Bronze-brown hair that shimmers in the sun with all the warmth and depth of faceted citrine. You have chocolate brown eyes that are always alight from within- as if you you are in on some great secret. I love the pattern of your irises. It is the same maelstrom of streaks and spots shared by your sister, but in your very own hue. That rich chocolate brown. It is one of the prettiest browns I have ever seen.
I just can't believe what a fun little person that you are. I am so glad we named you Jovie- It means Joyful- Happy... That is exactly what you are and exactly what you have brought to this family. You have shown me how much fun love can be. How much fun motherhood can be- It does not feel all serious and foreboding (though it has its moments). We have our challenges, but you are a delight and I lub you!
Love
The Mamma
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