The Test I Failed

I don't recall ever completely flunking a test... Unless you count my driver's exam- I did flunk that pretty readily... But NORMALLY, I do not fail things.

This week, I "failed" two tests. The 28 week blood glucose screening and the follow-up 3 hour glucose testing.

What does all of this mean? It means I have Gestational Diabetes.

I am uncertain of the severity of my situation just yet. When I failed the finger stick on Monday I cried- A LOT. I felt like a failure as a mother.

Once I got past the initial shock, I opted to take the day off yesterday (Wednesday) and do my 3 hour glucose test and relax the rest of the day.

This morning I got the test result back, and as I mentioned above- My sugars were "a little high." I will find out the exact meaning of this when I visit the Diabetic Center. It could mean I am borderline, or it could mean that they were trying to break the news to me gently.

I did not cry when I got the call this morning. I have been doing a lot of research on the symptoms (excessive thirst, excessive trips to the potty, shaking in the morning, extreme hormonal swings) and I had started noticing those symptoms in the last week or so. Therefore, it was a grand possibility that the test would come back as it did, and I was prepared for the results.

Overall, I think things are going to be just fine. I have picked up some unhealthy habits over my pregnancy. I know I get plenty of dairy, fruit, and protein- but my vegetable consumption has been lacking and my processed carbohydrate consumption has been on the rise. I have allowed my end of the day malaise to be an excuse not to eat as well as I should.

That should be easy to fix. I will miss macaroni and cheese, tater tots, and my nightly ice cream (sniff)... But my most important job is making this baby and giving her the best head-start in life possible. Sacrificing a couple of my favorite foods for the next 11 weeks is no big deal.

Long term, this could up my chances for Type 2 diabetes (there is some correlation), but if I can learn to live with less carbs in my life now, perhaps I can make some healthy habits/changes for a lifetime.

I am dealing with some emotional things still- mostly jealousy. It comes back to "I am different." I cannot eat like everyone else. This is a recurring theme for me. Maybe this time I will learn from it and move on. Really, I need to find a way to GET OVER IT, and start making some new favorite food friends.