How can you be this old, weren't you just born? I have not moved you yet, but I am preparing to do so. And it is hurting me. Damned growing pains. This is the pain that comes when the cord that ties my heart to you has to grow so we can be farther apart. And it hurts. I imagine you get the point.
This month we reached a milestone I had never heard of, nor did I expect. It is very difficult to explain, but essentially in my brain, you are a permanent fixture. The kind of permanent fixture that pops up when I think about the past, meaning things before you were born. I might think about your sister learning to crawl, but in the back of my mind- it is as if you ARE there, I just can't see you. I am not sure if that makes any sense at all... But I do it with both of you girls. Like when I think of the day I married your father- you are there. You are in the trees, you are the fairies making the wind chimes blow. You are there. Always there.
We just celebrated your first Halloween, I am sure that you know by this point that we LOVE Halloween. Before you were born, and in fact before I was even pregnant with you, I said "If I have another girl, I am going to make her a dragonfly for Halloween." I went back and forth, wanting to make you a fairy like your sister- but I came back to my original idea and I plan to save your wings as I did your sister's. You came to us and you were the cutest dragonfly I have ever seen!
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| From October |
You spent most of Halloween drooling and chewing your fingers. I don't know when those teeth are going to come in. I though they were on their way in 3 months ago. I guess I was wrong. Yes, I am wrong sometimes. Not often of course.
These days you also get VERY ANGRY when we are eating and you are not. We have started doing rice cereal, carrots (YOUR FAVORITE), pears, banana and you get rice crackers and the occasional fruit in a little mesh feeder. You have one hell of a temper and if those crackers or fruit, or the spoon somehow does not make it into your mouth in your time, on your terms, WE HEAR ABOUT IT. You are serious about your crackers. And you have these ridiculous rubber arms. You send emails before I am done typing them, you managed to get daddy's computer screen to shrink, and you are happy to knock over anything in your rubber-armed grasp.
I love your voice. And the raspberries and the way you rub your eyes when you are tired. I love how you yell at me when you want my attention. You "talk" about your inability to crawl. You are getting close- rocking on all fours, flopping on your belly, but when you get frustrated you don't roll over. NO, that would be too easy. It is better to cry and tell me how horrible of a mother I am for making you lay on your tummy that long. I was quite excited about the idea of you crawling by 6 months... When you were first born. Now that the reality is close, I am in no hurry.
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| From October |
Your favorite thing in the entire world is to pull people's hair. You get a fist full and cackle as you wrestle it toward your mouth. Really, you just like to put anything textured in your mouth. I did make you a tutu to go with your halloween costume (we did not end up using it) but when you wear it, as much as physically possible goes into your mouth.
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| From October |
I know I say it every month, and it probably gets old- but I don't care. I don't ever want you to forget how much I love you and how thankful I am that you are part of my family. You have brought us to the place I always wanted to be. We are the family of four that I have dreamed about since the day I looked deep into your father's eyes many many years ago. It is better than I dreamed, harder too- but so worth it.
I love you... You, in all of your cherub-like, siren-voiced wonderfulness.
Heart,
~The Mamma
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