Thank You Universe

In the grande scheme of things, I am one incredibly lucky lady. I love my kids, I love my husband, I love my house, I love my car (I realize this is a bit ridiculous). I am settled in my life now and I am taking strides to better myself and my family.

Never the clever, nor good housekeeper, I am TRYING to get some routines in place. I like how I feel when things are neat. I have to transfer that feeling so that it is strong enough when I get the urge to not clean that I remember how good it feels when things are tidy.

Damon and I are trying to eat better and get healthier for our kids. And for me there is the selfish reasoning. I want to look better in my clothes. I want to make my own clothes and not be afraid I will be too big for them in a short time period.

Obviously these are things I have always struggled with, probably always will. I do not have the answer, but I sincerely am trying to take steps to be better. Somedays I fall back. Sometimes my brain plays tricks on my body, and it feels as though it is not my own. But overall, I am on my way up.

It seems that now things are settling, when I do have my down days- I manage to pop back up sooner. I am disappointed that I am still going to have down days. But I am hopeful that they will be less often.

Back to the gratefulness. I am grateful. I love watching my daughters play and laugh, sing at the top of their lungs. I forget that they have not both been around forever.

Yet as the weather turns cooler and the trees change, I am gently reminded of my wedding and honeymoon. This is the time of year that "my" year begins. Bring on the autumn. Bring on the warm smells and cool breezes. Bring on the nostalgia and memories to be made. Seven years. Seven years in October. I don't feel like a different person, but I know I am- We have grown together, like two trees next to a creek... Roots intermingled, but standing on our own. Sometimes he protects me from the wind, sometimes I protect him. I could carry this metaphor way too far, and wax on about droughts and downpours, etc. But I think I will simply finish this by saying how thankful I am that he has stuck around. These last two years have been especially difficult. And he never balked. He never ran away. He stood up to me, stood next to me, stood behind me, and picked me up when I could not stand anymore.

It appears my heart wants to show all of its cards today.