Emotional Eating...

These last two weeks have been particularly stressful. We had a visit from my Dad, which proved to be an exercise in superficiality sprinkled with a wee bit of guilt and stories to save Lauren's soul.

The week before they arrived, I was riddled with fear and anxiety- And how did I react? Eating. Eating lots of comforting things- warm, bready, soft, doughy type of things. I knew what I was doing, and I still did it.

This week I have been feeling really depressed about leaving Mina and going back to work. That sad, quiet kind of depressed that scares Damon and causes him to come check on me when I am doing mundane things like chopping vegetables... He also affirms his love for me and constantly asks "are you ok?" though I know he does not REALLY want to listen to me whine about work again. Still, he loves me enough to ask, and occasionally I am able to squeak out how I am feeling. And he hugs me and tells me it is going to be a piece of cake.

So my emotional eating downward spiral has continued. More bread, more pizza, more sweets in the form of doughnuts or cinnamon rolls. Even my light ice cream has become more of an obsession than an occasional treat.

The weird thing this time is that I KNOW what is going on and I can't seem to stop it. On one hand it is good because I am seeing it as it is happening instead of seeing it in hindsight. I am hoping this means next time I can catch it before it happens? Maybe...

Anyways, I feel guilty and I feel fat. But I also feel unmotivated to go outside and go on a walk. Especially when it is hot (because, really, I hate to sweat). I know exercise would be good for me, and would probably relieve some of my pain- but I am unmotivated. Hopefully the motivation will return soon.

I think if I can get past the first day of work (Thursday) I will feel much better. Until then, I have restocked my fridge with healthier easy eats like vegetables, fruits and beans (whoo hoo)... And hope that I can at least balance the bad with some good.