Today has been fairly innocuous (except for my accidental killing of our laptop). I tried to spend as much time as I could cleaning without ignoring my time with Mina and my own quiet time.
I have gotten to enjoy some nice big belly movements- Bebe 2 has her bum right at the top of my belly and when she stretches, I get a huge lump. I will miss this. Mina pushed her little feet in the same place.
I am trying not to over-comprehend or over-feel anything right now. I am just trying to be. Trying to enjoy the last moments of quiet before things get turned upside down again. I am excited to see how Mina does with her new sister, I am equally excited to meet this little girl. I can't wait to hold her, see what she looks like, speak her name-
Things are going to be different, I feel a bit nervous about finding a "new normal" but I SO enjoy being Mina's mother- how is that joy not going to simply double (or more) being the mother of two lovely girls.
I would not have it any other way-
So, off to take some deep breaths, set out my clothes for tomorrow, maybe shed a few tears for the life I leave behind, and shed a few more out of joy for the life I am about to embrace.
Oh- one thing I never want to forget- Mina was having a hard day today. It seems that kids understand these things more than we probably want to admit. Around 10 she was having trouble settling down, so I turned on the Big Band Station, the song Coquette was playing and we danced.
The line of the song that stuck with me is "someday you will love someone like I love you." It was the end of the song and that was the final refrain. it felt terribly special. She smiled and pressed her head to mine and giggled quietly. It was a happy moment.
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