Holy Hell we have reached the "terrible twos." I hate saying that they are terrible and I went back and forth trying to decide if I was going to write about this stuff- but one day you are going to grow up and you may choose to have children of your own and you will think "I was NEVER this bad."
Let me tell you dear, OH.YES.YOU.ARE. I say this with full love in my heart, as my mother has said she is pretty sure I deserve every moment of terror you will bestow upon me. Your new trick? You get frustrated and you scream "OW OW OW!!!" for extended periods of time and I find myself waiting for someone to call family services to report me for abusing my child.
You throw fits and tantrums like any self-respecting toddler should. But nothing thus far has been this creative nor especially disruptive as this. I cannot take you shopping if you are going to scream for 20 minutes like I am breaking your arm. And you have no idea what this does to my brain. I feel like I am running into a brick wall- I want to be patient, kind, firm, and understanding, but sometimes, I want to take you to daddy's work and drop you off- he has better luck with tantrums...
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The wonderful thing about you is that you temper these moments with other magical moments of wit and ludicrous perfection. Those moments where you shine like the sun and I forget that I wanted to trade you in for something with a mute button. Times where you say things like "Daddy, you make my heart super happy." Or when you hear Jovie cry and you say "It's ok sweetie." I think my favorite thing is when you ask to carry her. You really just mean you want to hold her. We put her in your lap and you cackle uncontrollably (for roughly 20 seconds). Then you are happy to dump her off your lap so we have to watch very carefully. But it is the perfect expression of toddlerhood- deep love, deep feeling, short attention span.
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I realize that things will get "worse" before they get better and I fully understand that the terrible twos don't actually end until about 4. I will do my very best to be loving and kind, to you through these years of "boundary checking." And I will try to make sure I document the good in addition to the less savory.
One of your most delicious attributes right now is your love of music. I will forever look back on this time with a soundtrack attached. Probably my most favorite song (one of yours too) is "I feel luff song, with the girl with flowers in her hair" aka the cover "I Feel Love" by Blue Man Group featuring Venus Hum. When it is just us girls in the car, you ask for this song and I sing it at the top of my lungs. There is much shaking of curly hair. I often catch a glimpse of you in the rear view mirror doing exactly as I do- Mouth open wide, singing "LOVE," head shaking back and forth, tousling that gorgeous head of curls to and fro. Its one of those moments when I want to laugh and cry at the same time and I feel like life can't get any better.
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I am thankful for those moments and I imagine as time goes on and the terrible twos pass, that I will remember those gorgeous moments of joy more-so than the crippling screams of a two year old. And that is how I will think of you... Full of life, curls bouncing in the breeze, smiling pixie eyes, and that impish/cherub grin-
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That's my Mina.
I love you,
Mamma
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